Ally Dos and Don'ts

• Listen to yourself talk. Avoid the use of language that implies all people are heterosexual and "single, married, or divorced".



• Do not presume that all gay students/staff are unhappy about their orientation.



• Do not presume that all who try to change their orientation can do so.



• Remember that people do not choose to have gay feelings. People can choose whether or not to act on those feelings.



• Help those you ally yourself with to get in touch with their feelings. Help them define their problems, goals, and action plans.



• Help those you ally yourself with help themselves. Help them increase their self-reliance and self-worth so they can take charge of their lives and integrate their thoughts/feelings/behavior in a positive way.



• Know when your competence reaches its limits. Donāt hesitate to refer those with serious problems to more qualified helping professionals.



• Donāt take advantage of an ally relationship by imposing your own sexual desires. You could do irreparable emotional harm.



• Take the "sex" out of homosexuality. Sexual thoughts and feelings are only part of being gay, lesbian, or bisexual.





---